Heterosexism and Homophobia

I recently heard through the grapevines that an old friend of mines partner of nearly 25 years had passed away. I was greatly taken aback and immediately called to express my emotion with my old friend in her time of grieving. I asked if she needed help in preparing and arranging the services or if she even needed the smallest amount of company at this point; as a strong, lovely feminist, she denied my travel to her and said that hearing my voice was well enough. In our ending of a somewhat brief conversation, I asked if she would be able to tell when the services were and where they were to be located. She stated that nothing was finalized and that if she forgot to call and tell me that it would be listed in the obituary the following day. I agreed that in this time of planning and running around that my ability to check an online obituary was absolutely fine and convenient for all. So, the following day I searched and searched the Obits for "K's" listing. I finally located it and was overcome with more emotion and anger than I ever thought possible.

The exquisite obituary naming three children survivors and a loving partner (my friend) of 25 years had been botched and shredded by the editor. The editor removed all evidence that K and my dear friend had been partners and had mothered three children together in 25 years of partnership. I was appalled. I'm still appalled. I'm hurt and hurting for my friend and her children. She is hurting and is back in the closet! Damn Homophobia and bring an end to heterosexism!!

what we see...

what is our understanding of power [and women] based on the images that plague our minds...

Isolated Daisy

Alright, so after reading the store by Linnea Due for class the other day, I was taken back to an almost identical situation with Girl Scouts that I had as a 7 year old child.

All my friends were in the Girl Scouts and we had always talked about selling samoas or thin mint cookies religiously. We had our clientele lined up and ready to purchase. I wouldn't get to know the sweet smell of Girl Scout sales and marketing for more than a few months.

I have always been a bit more "masculine" than the majority of the girls in my "click" and am completely happy with that. As a 7 year old child, you don't have an awareness of your actions the way in which you do at say, 23. My actions have become my own to the point of not dubbing them masculine or feminine, but rather who I am. I walk with a bull-dogish swagger and carry my shoulders more wide and broad than most other "women" that I know. I was told by my mother at the age of 7 that who I was, how I played and interacted with other girls, for Girl Scouts, was too masculine and aggressive. Yes, I was kicked out of Girl Scouts. Do I wish they hadn't? Eh. At this point, being as comfortable with who I am makes all the difference. Being told you can't play with your friends because you are too masculine was crushing at the age of 7, but has effected me little in the past 16 years. If anything, the incident allowed me to forge new relationships and helped me to understand who I was as a child and who I would become as an adult.

The roles in which we are often unaware that we take can bite us in the ass with respect to societal standards. If we choose to let these bites hold us back makes all the difference.

trans[gender][sexual][am]

I had a Saturday off to myself in quite some time. I spent the majority of the time working in the backyard, getting it ready for Autumn fire pit season. I had a lot of time to contemplate and reflect on a lot of things that have been running through my head lately. One of the most prominent is this amazing debate of sex and gender, if there is a debate at all, and what these two terms mean. I found this video on youtube.com and thought what she had to say at the end was awesome. Her "male" features aren't the best, but her message is amazing.

Click here to view the video. [problem with embedding the video here]

Hate vs. State of North Carolina

As stated by Guilford College's President in response to activities recently occurring on school grounds.

September 19, 2009To the Guilford College Community:In 2003, President Kent Chabotar established the Bias Incident Group to respond forcefully, and in a timely and sensitive manner, to anonymous acts of bias on our campus. It is important that these acts—that stifle freedom of inquiry and expression—not go unanswered. The formation of the Bias Incident Group for the 2009 – 2010 academic year is nearing completion and in the absence of a formal group, President Chabotar issues the following response.In order to concentrate on the most serious incidents and capture the attention of the campus community, an incident must have four characteristics in order to warrant a response. Besides being (1) serious and (2) perpetrated by anonymous persons, the incident should also be (3) public and widely known as well as (4) viewed as clearly threatening to a person or group.Guilford College operates under core values that are directly based on the Quaker Testimonies. Equality is both a Quaker Testimony and a Core Value of the college. This community will not tolerate acts based on bigotry and hatred.On Monday, September 14 a student informed Residence Life and Public Safety that a note was left on his Bryan Hall room door the prior evening containing the following message: "Die you MF fag. Nobody wants your kind on campus.” On Thursday, September 17, at approximately 11:30 pm someone dropped a rock and a note in the same student’s open, residence hall room window. This note contained the following message: “I hope it hit you in the [f---ing] head faggot. You don’t deserve life like the rest of the world. It’s bad enough with out all the gay crap pulling people down. It’s sick, unnatural, and death is almost too good for you. Almost.”Clearly these messages are harassment in violation of numerous college policies and are criminal acts under state and federal law. The Greensboro Police Department is actively involved in the investigation of this matter and campus officials will cooperate with local authorities to ensure that those responsible will be held accountable both off campus and on campus.There is no room whatsoever at Guilford for persecution, oppression and harassment of individuals or groups. Those who perpetrate acts such as this challenge our intent to maintain the atmosphere of freedom that is essential for learning and civil society. Those who—out of prejudice, ignorance, or hatred—intimidate and silence others by their words or actions undermine us all. If you have any information about the individuals responsible please contact Public Safety at x2908.

Let us see just what the State of North Carolina has to say about hate crimes...

General Statutes § 14‑401.14. - ETHNIC INTIMIDATION

§ 14‑401.14. Ethnic intimidation; teaching any technique to be used for ethnic intimidation.
(a) If a person shall, because of race, color, religion, nationality, or country of origin, assault another person, or damage or deface the property of another person, or threaten to do any such act, he shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.
(b) A person who assembles with one or more persons to teach any technique or means to be used to commit any act in violation of subsection (a) of this section is guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor. (1991, c. 493, s. 1; 1993, c. 332, s. 1; c. 539, s. 283; 1994, Ex. Sess., c. 14, s. 14(b); c. 24, s. 14(c); 1995, c. 509, s. 10.)

In conjunction with the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) there has been a bill (HB 207) proposed to the House. Click here to read the entire bill.

In summary, this bill would amend existing hate crimes law to add sexual orientation and gender identity as covered categories [as well as increased penalties].

Without the passing of this bill and without the efforts of groups and organizations like the HRC, the threats made against human lives and even death incurred by hate will continue to go unpunished sufficiently.

"We hate some persons because we do not know them; and will not know them because we hate them." ~Charles Caleb Colton

Gone Fishin'

On Fridays I visit a friend at work for lunch. While waiting on them today I picked up the Crossroads Journal that is distributed to surrounding towns and areas of Greensboro. As I thumbed through the pages, typical stories concerning medicine, festivals and God appeared throughout. I made my way through the entire journal and something caught my eye; a record setting large mouth bass displayed by its angler, a woman who caught the fish in Japan. While reading through the article, the story emerged typical of any fisher[wo]man. "I wasn't lookin' to set a record, it just found me," she said. Below the photo of the record fish was a section titled "Fishing & the Opposite Sex." I read on. Here are some of the quotes listed about the "opposite sex."





"A wife and a steady job have ruined many a good fisherman." - anonymous


"Women want me - Fish fear me." - as seen on a t-shirt


"An angler is a man who spends rainy days sitting around the muddy banks of a river doing nothing, because his wife won't let him do it at home." - anonymous





AND my personal favorite...





"I live with fear every day, but sometimes she let's me go fishing." - anonymous

Women aren't just the other now, they are "the opposite sex."

Safe 2 Pee

I recently read an article concerning one Vermont teens efforts of having gender-neutral bathrooms available in his high school. This teen, a sixteen year old female-to-male transgendered man has lived in fear of using the school's restrooms since the eighth grade. Kyle Giard-Chase met with the Vermont Human Rights Commission on Thursday, August 27th in hopes of somehow opening doors for people like him, students like him. Kyle, now a senior found that despite his efforts at Thursday's meeting, the commission would not grant any outspoken support for this issue at this time. Chairman of the board, Joseph Benning did state that merely with the attention that Kyle brought to this issue is progress for the needs and concerns of transgendered teens.

Often, as it has been my personal experience, having acces to a gender-neutral bathrooms is vital. There is not only a level of safety concern with transgender teens, but also a certain level of comfort for those who might also be using the facilities at the time. Not everyone is going to understand why someone who looks like a young man is in the women's restroom. Likewise, not everyone that appears to be transgendered is; there are more androgynous persons [like myself] who also fear public restrooms. There is a campaign dedicated to locating and informing citizens of gender-neutral bathrooms around the world. This website is a vital resource for transgender teens and adults as well as androgynous males or females. It can also serve as the perfect source for a mother with a son who is not comfortable taking him into the women's restroom, or a father with a daughter that refuses to use the men's restroom. There are endless possibilities to providing gender-neutral restrooms to the public.

It isn't just about safety, although this is my greatest concern, it is about the well-being of all persons. Like Kyle, there are thousands of teens who live in constant fear at school of doing something that is completely natural. To find gender-neutral restrooms near you or where you may be traveling, see the website listed below. You may also read the full story about Kyle's press for equality by clicking here.

Gender-neutral bathrooms in your neighborhood.

"Everyone has people in their lives that are gay, lesbian or transgender or bisexual. They may not want to admit it, but I guarantee they know somebody." -Billie Jean King